Kathryn has been writing and publishing for over 25 years. Currently, she writes for The Examiner, Ask Mom and Today's Mama as their Parenting Single Mom blogger.

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Should I get back with my ex?

I’m sorry, what did you say?

I hate to be unsympathetic, but there was a reason (or many reasons) you left him in the first place, and now, two weeks later, six months, perhaps even a week later, you’re saying you want to do what?

I can’t help myself. The idea of a good woman returning to a man who hurt her enough for her to want to file for divorce and then go through with it, doesn’t strike me as a woman who should go back. My initial gut reaction is that she should continue to move forward, without him.

That’s not to say that a person can’t change–for the better. I am a firm believer in change; I have done a bit of it myself over the years. But I think it’s important that someone who has just divorced give themselves some space to grow and find out what they really want–in themselves and in someone else before they re-commit. This may mean that years, rather than months, will go by before re-instating a former union with a spouse.

Unfortunately, if you Google this subject, you’ll get all sorts of ideas on how to get your ex back and not the other way around. I think that’s sad. I also think having the alternate within easy access isn’t helpful, but rather harmful, almost like “in playing games” a person can somehow make things right.

“Right” comes through change and renewed commitment in my opinion. And until you see that on a regular basis and in various circumstances, you don’t have anything to call a relationship.

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Comments (2)

  1. Ex Back 06/07/2010 at 9:37 am

    well, Explore our “get my ex back” advice categories (listed far right) and that's what you'll find … Should 2nd Chance be your 1st choice?

  2. chromowanie felg 04/09/2013 at 8:44 pm

    Firma ELBIT KRAKÓW ma przyjemnosc przedstawic Panstwu oferte wspólpracy w zakresie wykonywania pokryc galwanicznych.