I have come to a new phase of mothering. Not only did I gain another 4 year old only weeks ago, but I am also the mother of preschoolers. I’m not just referring to age here. I’m talking about going to preschool. I debated for a long time on whether or not I would homeschool. When my Mattie was 3, I chose to do preschool at home. When she turned 4 I started considering my preschool options. A couple months after my daughter’s 4th birthday, I gained another daughter, Zoe. Now I had to consider what was best for TWO little 4 year old girls, not just one. Mattie’s strengths and areas she needed help with were clear to me. However, what did Zoe need? Did she know the alphabet? Could she write her letters? Could she spell her own name? These were questions I didn’t have the answer to and I began to feel overwhelmed. After much thought, I chose to send them to a wonderful local preschool. I knew the teacher and was thrilled with the curriculum, goals and priorities of the school.
Now I am in a phase of preschool, dance class, appointments, playdates and actual scheduling. Gone are the days of waking up when Mattie and I felt like it and going where the wind took us. I am uncertain of this new path. AND, this path includes two children. I don’t know how to have two children. It’s something I have never done before. The luxury of a 9 month pregnancy and the early months of infancy weren’t mine. Instead, I have jumped into this phase with both feet. Ready or not! I will be forever grateful for the gift of Zoe. She is pure joy and I feel honored to be raising my cousin’s child. It’s just been an unexpected event in our little family.
With a few weeks under my belt, I feel better able to handle what comes my way. Preschool is going well and I look forward to following my girls progress. I am also becoming accustomed to talking about my daughters. Plural, no longer singular. I still struggle with wanting to give my girls equal attention/affection. How do you balance that with 2 kids?! Especially when one is biologically yours and the other is family, but not one I gave birth to. Daily I am looking for answers to this question. What is your take on such a circumstance? I am open to helpful suggestions.