I am sure that many of you have heard of the book “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. A year or so ago, the book title kept popping up all around me. When this happens, it is usually a sign that I had better pay attention. Off to Google I ran, and found the 5 love languages website. The 5 languages are:
1) Words of Affirmation
2) Quality Time
4) Acts of Service
5) Physical Touch
On a whim, I took the online Love Languages test and sat my family down and gave them the impromptu quiz. Part of the premis is that the way you show love is also the way you would like to receive it. What happens if you aren’t speaking the same language???
The results in my family were quite interesting. My love language was acts of service, my husband was words of affirmation and physical touch, daughter #1 was quality time, daughter #2 gifts, and daughter #3 quality time….Hmmmm I can see the setting for disaster. I am running around doing all these acts of service for my family (because I love them) and no one seems to care…..My husband tells me I am doing a good job and runs his fingers through my hair and the whole time I was wishing he would drive the kids to the gym…..Get the picture?
After taking this test, I have definitely made a concerted effort to tell those around me that I love them in a “language” that they can understand. My husband gets that “good job, thank you”, my middle daughter gets a little treat stuck on her pillow and the other two girls get that few extra minutes all to themselves. Me, I remind myself to let my needs be known. If I need help (acts of service), I remember to ask for them instead of being mad that someone just didn’t do it.
This week’s lifework challenge – download a copy of the test and give it to your family and then have a discussion on what that means for all of you. It always helps if we are all talking “the same language”.