A woman I met recently emailed me and said that she was going to write a parenting blog on raising confident women, did I have any input for her? The first thing that came to mind was “You have to be one to raise one”. How many of us have hopes and dreams for our daughters but are bystanders in life? How many of us want the best for them, but are unwilling to go out and get/do/be the best for ourselves?
They say we can only have a relationship to our level of esteem, we can only love someone to the extent we love ourselves (what does that say about how much we love our children?), so does that also mean that we can only instill in them what we already have within us?
There are many kids that exceed beyond their parents drive and ambitions and others that won’t even start down the drive and ambitions path. Many of us do or become things in spite of (or to spite) our parents. Could that be how some kids become confident with less than confident parents? What if as parents, we looked at all of the things that we wish we could download into our children and then strived to integrate that as much as possible into ourselves. What would happen then? If the behavior/attribute was modeled to them during their most vulnerable times when they are growing and are sponges for learning. When it becomes such an inherent part of us as parents, that our children see the behavior/attribute as a seemless part of life.
We instill values in our children by teaching them at home, giving them a religious foundation etc. We teach them right from wrong, good from bad but what about the things like self confidence, self esteem and self identity. How do you “teach” that? We all want the best for our children, but what if the best thing for them is wanting/doing/being the best for ourselves first? What if? Would you do it then?